Fourteen + New Blog URL!

Top: Target Skirt: Target Cardigan: TJMaxx Flats: Payless Necklace: Gift

The last time I wore my nude flats, Rooney decided they looked like a good chew toy.  I was so bummed, and immediately went online to reorder another pair.  They arrived just this week, so I'm really happy to be wearing them again.  I was down a pair of shoes in my 30x30!  Yikes!

I wanted to alert you all that I'm changing the name of my blog to brynnash.  The URL will be changing to brynnash.blogspot.com as well.  I just wanted to let you know to change my URL in your reader to my new address.  I'm making the change for a few reasons.  First, "brynnash" has been my email account for about 8 years now, and has been my username for many things.  It feels like "me" and I'm really attached to it.  When I first started blogging here, "brynnash" was already taken (it was my old college blog, had two posts, and I couldn't figure out how to access it again).  I spent a lot of time today recovering old email addresses and freeing up the URL so that I could have it for this blog.  I never felt attached to "The Original Brynn" and it has always bothered me that "brynnash" is not my blog's name.  So, now that it's available, I'm making the switch!!

If you'd like to keep following along with my blog, please add brynnash.blogspot.com to whatever reader you use, and feel free to follow me on Google Friend Connect at my new site as well.  Thank you!

If anything funky is happening on the new site, please let me know as well - I would love to hear from you!

Two.

Tank: Old Navy Cardigan: TJ Maxx Jeans: Old Navy Flats: Payless Necklace: Forever 21

Today's outfit is perfect for finishing my final paper, relaxing with my dogs, and going to play trivia at a local restaurant tonight.  I am soaking in all of this free time!

So I've written about my body struggles before...and things really haven't gotten easier for me.  I still feel uncomfortable in my body and although I've been trying hard to lose (or at least maintain) weight, I have gained 7-8 lbs since January, putting me at my highest weight ever.  GROSS.  I went to the doctor yesterday for a check up, and finally have a reason for this!  I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about 2.5 years ago, and after about a year of tweaking, I had found a dosage of medication that put my thyroid levels back within a normal range.  Yesterday, though, my doctor told me that my levels had shot through the roof, which explains why I've been gaining weight, feeling depressed, and been much more tired than usual.  I'm starting a higher dosage of my medication today and hoping that it will make losing weight easier for me, and make me feel better in general.  Keeping my fingers crossed that things turn around for me soon!!

Coral and Navy

Tee: Target Skirt: Target Flats: Payless Necklace: F21

I've been off work since last Friday, and while I enjoyed having the time to bond with Delia and dink around at home, I was ready to get back to work today.  I work in orientation at the university I attend, and we're about to start training all of our new staff members before a summer full of orientation.  I really hate training other people and am not feeling prepared at all, so I was ready to get back into the office today to plug away on some work before our staff arrives on Sunday!  I often feel more productive when I'm dressed nicely, so I wanted to be sure to wear something cute.  I wanted to wear this skirt, and instead of pairing it with something easy/obvious (navy or white), I decided to wear my bright, fun coral tee!  I tied in the navy with a navy and gray necklace.  I really like how this outfit turned out.  I felt comfortable and cute and summery all day.

I tend to place really high expectations on myself.  When I first started the Blog Every Day in May challenge,  I felt determined to complete it and write every. single. day.  I felt pretty good about the challenge the first few days, but after a while, it didn't feel fun anymore.  I wasn't jazzed about every prompt, and I found it to feel like another thing I had to check off of my to do list each day.  It just lost its appeal.  I still think some of the prompts are fantastic, and I may jump in on those days (or borrow the prompts for future posts).  However, I want to keep the focus on my outfits and my own little nuggets for now.  I hate that I'm not completing the project (even though I've missed a day or two) and feel like I'm giving up, but ultimately, I just want to have fun with blogging and not feel such a sense of obligation.  Sound good?

Linking up with Work Clothes I Suppose and Mix and Match Fashion today.

Day Fifteen: Today

Dress: Old Navy Flats: Payless

Today's topic for Blog Every Day in May is to give a play-by-play of your day.  I'm a really boring person...Here was my day:

5:00 am: Wake up to a puppy who needs to go potty.  Kevin lets out the dogs, and then they all come snuggle in our bed until it's time to get ready for the day.  I check my email and figure out how to help Delia get used to her crate (she's been crying all night long...we decided to put her in Pippin's kennel with her last night and it went so much better).

8:00 am: Wake up, feed the dogs, and get ready for the day before Kevin leaves for work at 9:00.

9:30 am: Take outfit pictures, feel like something is missing, throw on a gold necklace.  Play with dogs and let them outside again before going into work to conduct interviews...on my day off...ugh.  Feel super sad that Delia cries and panics in her crate.

10:00 am-12:30 pm: Work.  Conduct interviews for summer student staff, chat with boss about who to hire, send emails, catch up on work after having been off since last Friday.  Talk to one of the head directors of the animal rescue group about Delia's aversion to the crate and how we can help her feel safer and more secure.

12:30 pm: Leave work, get soaking wet from the rain (didn't know that was going to happen today...).  Head to the pet store to get a new toy for Delia for only playing with in her crate...fingers crossed that it works!

1:30 pm:  Come home to two very nervous dogs - Delia is still crying...4 hours later.  Feel super guilty about it and take the dogs on a nice walk to get their nervous energy out.

2:00 pm: Take more outfit pictures with the gold necklace, but realize none of them are good enough for the blog because my hair had gotten all frizzy and gross from the earlier rain.  Settle for a shot from this morning and start to answer emails, begin this post, read blogs, etc. while eating toast and yogurt for lunch.

3:00 pm: Kevin comes home from work!  We chat about the day together, decide how we're going to contain Delia tomorrow when I go back to work.  Attempt to take pictures of Delia to put on her Petfinder profile and fail miserably.  Get one cute shot (below!)

4:00 pm: One of Kevin's coworkers stops by to meet Delia and we chat for 45 minutes.

4:45 pm: Kevin falls asleep with the dogs, I continue catching up on blogs, planning outfits, doing laundry, relaxing, etc.

6:30 pm: Kevin takes the dogs outside and I do a little cleaning around the apartment.

7:00 pm: Kevin and I went out to the tennis courts by our apartment and played tennis for a while.  It felt great to get out and do something active.  My knee has been really bothering me lately so I've been hesitant to go running.  It's been a week since I've worked out and I am really feeling it - gross.

9:00 pm: We finally watched Silver Linings Playbook!  It was soooo good.  It's been built up by so many friends so I was worried I wouldn't like it, but it was so great!  Plus, Jennifer Lawrence is in it, and I LOVE HER.

11:30 pm: Put the puppies outside one last time and go to bed!

I love her little tongue poking out!

**I wrote this post yesterday but didn't publish it until this morning!  Oops!

Day Seven: Waste.

Tank: Old Navy Skirt: Old Navy Cardigan: Gap Flats: Payless Necklace: Eclectic Wendy

I'm loving this outfit today.  I picked up this skirt at Old Navy for $3 because I liked both the price and the colors, but have found it a little difficult to style so far.  The green of my blouse is slightly brighter than the green stripes on the skirt, but I really don't mind.  I just feel springy and fun in this outfit!  And I don't feel boring like I have lately.  It's finally spring here in Minnesota and I'm able to wear all the spring outfits I've been planning in my head for months!

So, for the Blog Every Day in May challenge today, I wrote this long post about the things I'm afraid of (needles, fish, vomiting) but these are the physical things that make me pass out or panic.  These are the easy things to talk about.  I was avoiding the deep things that really make me most afraid at my core.  The thing, deep down, that makes me the most afraid is wasting time.

I'm not just talking about wasting time dinking around on the internet (which I'm really good at, but wish I wasn't) or watching copious amounts of mediocre television on Netflix (I'm looking at you, Desperate Housewives), but I'm talking about something bigger.  I'm talking about the kind of time wasting that prevents you from living life and experiencing it all.

• I'm afraid of wasting time on unhealthy friendships.  Or wasting too much time dwelling on the unhealthy friendships I've had in the past that is taking away from the time I could be investing in new, healthy friendships. 
• I'm afraid of time wasting getting in the way of my family.  My grandfather was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and we don't have as much time (good time, filled with memories) left to spend together.  I'm lucky that I still have four grandparents left, but I know that my time with them is precious.
• I'm afraid that if I waste too much time, I won't be able to accomplish the things I want to.  I have dabbled in painting, but at the end of the day, it is too easy to reach for my laptop instead of my paintbrushes.  I want to learn to love running, but I waste time sitting around instead of getting outside in my running shoes.  I want to become a mother via adoption, but if I waste my time and money at the mall and doing other frivolous things instead of working hard, earning more money, and putting that money towards my future child(ren), I'm afraid it will never happen for me.

Wasting time is so scary for me.  I would love to get better at using my time well and in the most meaningful and productive way possible.  What have you done to better use your time?  What are you afraid of?

Day Three: Uncomfortable

Cardigan: Target Skirt: Old Navy Flats: Payless Necklace: Suuuper old...Target, maybe?

Today's topic for the Blog Every Day in May challenge is to discuss something that makes you uncomfortable.  I know that I feel uncomfortable about many things, but I had a hard time with this post.  I decided that rather than writing a lot about one thing, I'd make a little list about the things that make me feel uncomfortable.

• Wearing pants.  I've written about my general disdain for pants and how they make me feel, but wearing pants/shorts/capris make me feel physically uncomfortable.
• Being around drunk people.  True confession: I've never been drunk.  I have consumed alcohol (and love a good hard cider...mmm), but never enough to get drunk.  I personally don't see the appeal - it's expensive, it's a lot of empty calories, most alcohol doesn't taste good, I don't like the feeling of being out of control, I want to remember everything I've done, I hate throwing up, and hangovers do not sound fun.  I have been around plenty of drunk people before, and honestly, I don't really find them all that funny or entertaining.  They're either loud and obnoxious, angry and obnoxious, sullen and obnoxious, or obnoxiously crying.  I've seen too many people do things while drunk that make me embarrassed for them to think it's "cool."  With some recovering alcoholics in my family and circle of friends, I understand how dangerous alcohol can be, and when I see drunk people, it reminds me of the pain my family members and friends have gone through with their alcoholic loved ones.  [Related side note: It also makes me super uncomfortable when adults get drunk regularly and think every social gathering is an excuse to drink.]
• Watching sex scenes in movies with your parents or in-laws.  I'm not sure I need to really explain more about this.  I should say, however, that it is also pretty uncomfortable when your grandma asks you to explain to her what anal beads are and won't let it go until you do...or when the same grandma takes you to see Zoolander when you're in 7th grade, and asks you during this scene (scroll to 1:04) if you know what an erection is...
• Admitting that I'm wrong.  I like to be right about things, and I oftentimes am right about things (it's a part of my Myers Briggs personality type).  So, whenever I am wrong, it is awkward and difficult to admit that I'm wrong.  I can't really think of any examples right now off the top of my head, but just know that admitting that I'm wrong is super hard for me.  Maybe it's a pride thing, I don't know.
• Developing an adult relationship with family members.  Please tell me I'm not alone in this??  As I've gotten older, I've definitely grown and changed.  I'm not the same person I was when I was young (some things have stayed the same, but some things have absolutely shifted), but I sometimes think it is hard for my family to see that.  I don't need a mommy and a daddy anymore, but I still want my parents in my life.  I want to be seen as independent and successful, but I also want to know that my family is there if I need help.  I want to have adult conversations with family, and I want my extended family to acknowledge that I am an adult who is married, has a real job, has been living independently for years, and knows how to take care of myself.  This is a topic that I've actually talked about a lot with my counselors in the past - how to navigate this shifting relationship, and what I can do to make it more comfortable for me, but also  so that my family still knows that they are important in my life.  Have any of you experienced this, too??

Whew.

I'm also linking up with Marissa for the last day of her and Heidi's Pantone Color Challenge!

Bodies.

Shirt: Old Navy Skirt: Target Flats: Payless Necklace: Gift from sister-in-law

(Yep, I was falling over in this picture...)

So, for my job this summer, I'm required to wear black or khaki bottoms.  Shorts, which are necessary in the hot and humid Minnesota summers, have to be longer than your fingertips when your hands are at your sides.  I rarely wear shorts, and only have a few pairs, none of which fit the criteria for my work.  This weekend, I decided I was going to find some shorts and capris to wear this summer.

I went to several stores to try on different options.  Four stores.  Well over 20 pairs of shorts and capris.  Different styles, different cuts, different sizes.  NOTHING WORKED.  I walked out of each store nearly in tears.  I said to Kevin, "I can't find anything that fits me.  Shorts look terrible on me.  Why can't I just wear dresses and skirts all the time?"  I haven't felt that discouraged and awful about myself in a long, long time.

See, I've struggled with my body for years and years.  In college, I survived an eating disorder.  I went to therapy to help me correct my thought patterns and to manage my perfectionism and need for control.  It took about four years of counseling to get through it all, but I officially "graduated" from therapy last spring.  While my eating patterns have been in control now, the voice behind the eating disorder is still loud and clear in my head.  It has been hard for me to get my body into a healthier weight (which I know is something I need to do) because I'm afraid any amount of diet shifting or increased exercise will trigger the disordered eating again.  I don't eat particularly terrible now, and I exercise 3-4 days a week (I'm training for a 5K!).  However, my body hasn't changed, and I'm getting upset about it.  Trying on pants this weekend was really difficult for me and just solidified all the negative and discouraged feelings I've been having.

In the past week or so, some of my favorite blogs (Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen, Katie at Hems for Her, and Nicole at Writes Like a Girl) have written about self-confidence, self-esteem, and body acceptance.  Their posts came at the most appropriate and relevant of times for me.  I encourage all of you to check out their blogs, if you have not before, and look at their recent posts about these topics.  It is inspiring to read the stories of people who have overcome these negative feelings and learned to love and accept themselves.  I desperately want to get to that point.  I want to be an inspiration to other people who have or will walk in my shoes.  I just need to get over the hurdle I'm experiencing now.

I think this is one of the things I love most about blogging.  I have connected with insightful, beautiful, and confident women of all shapes and sizes.  They have shared their wisdom with me and have been brave enough to expose themselves.  They appreciate personal style but acknowledge that there are real people and feelings behind the clothing they wear.  I have learned their stories and now, it is my turn to share mine.

Linking up with Literate & Stylish for the Pantone Color Challenge today :)

Debbie

Tank: Old Navy Cardigan: Target Jeans: NY&C Flats: Payless Necklace: From Debbie

April 20th is a special day in my family.  It's the day that my mom's step-mom, Debbie, passed away from a nearly year-long battle with pancreatic cancer.  I've written about Debbie before, when talking about her love for polka dots, but I wanted to share more about her.

Debbie and my grandpa got married several years before I was born, so she was in my life from the moment I was born, and was very much my third grandma.  You couldn't have met a sweeter person.  Debbie had the most gentle spirit.  She was generous and loving, and although my brother, cousins, and I were not her biological grandchildren, she loved us like we were.

I am one of those weird people who saves old voicemails from people so I can listen to their voices whenever I want.  I have a voicemail that Debbie left me in the fall of 2009, about 6 months before she died.  We were getting together to celebrate my mom and dad's 25th wedding anniversary and she wanted to know what kind of cake everyone in my family liked.  At the time, she was battling her cancer, doing aggressive treatments and on a clinical trial, but she still wanted to make the celebration as special as possible - that's just the kind of person she was.  I love having this voicemail, and I listen to it often.  Sometimes I'll play it for my grandpa so he can hear her voice again, and he smiles the whole time.

This necklace was Debbie's.  When she died, she wanted me to have it.  It was a special necklace to her, and she wore it all the time.  I love wearing it, because it makes me feel close to her.  I had a dream about her after she died, and she was wearing this necklace in the dream.  I have worn it every year on the anniversary of her passing, and will continue to do so.

Here is a picture of Grandpa and Debbie on their 25th wedding anniversary - she's wearing the necklace :)  What a beautiful woman.

Weekend Wear

Tank: Old Navy Cardigan: Target Jeans: NY&C Flats: Payless Necklace: Mom's 

I hope you all had a nice weekend!  I spent the weekend at my mom and dad's house, hanging out with them and my brother.

On Saturday, my family and I went to Wild Rumpus, a fantastic children's bookstore in Minneapolis, with the little boy my parent's mentor.  The bookstore has all kinds of animals roaming around in the store (cats and chickens!) and other animals hanging out in cages (lizards, tarantulas, birds, chinchillas, ferrets).  The entrance to the bookstore has a big door for adults and a little purple door for kiddos.  My family brought my brother and me there often when we were little, and it was so much fun to be back!! I can't wait to take my future children there some day :)

That afternoon, I visited my friend Jayne (she's an old supervisor of mine, who has become a dear friend...she even officiated our wedding!) and her two daughters.  When I was a senior in college, I nannied her oldest daughter, who is almost four years old now.  I haven't seen the girls since October, and it was crazy how much they have changed, especially her younger daughter who is nine months old now!  It was so fun to be Auntie Brynn again!

Saturday night, my brother and I had a date together.  We went out for dinner at Cossetta's, a DELICIOUS Italian restaurant in St. Paul, and then to see Rufus Wainwright in concert.  We had a blast together!  I also encouraged my brother to get Snapchat, so we spent an obscene amount of time this weekend sending each other ugly pictures of ourselves.

Dress: Old Navy Vest: Old Navy Belt: The Limited Boots: Guess

On Sunday, I sang at the church I grew up at with my family.  I LOVE to sing.  The woman who leads the music at the contemporary service is a close mentor and friend of mine, and she is so awesome and lets me sing whenever I want.  It's been so nice to have a musical outlet!  My mom also got confirmed this weekend, so it was nice to be there to support her as well.

I totally copied this outfit from Fran - I about died when I saw her wear this back in February, and I've been waiting to wearing it!  I probably would not have thought to pair this dress and vest together if it hadn't been for Fran, so thank you, my dear!!  I love how this outfit turned out and I got several compliments on it today :)

Stripes!!

Shirt: Old Navy Jeans: NY&C Flats: Payless Necklace: Birthday gift from parents

Whoops!  I didn't get a post up yesterday because I had a little minor medical procedure done (I'm fine) and laid on the couch all day, basically in the same outfit as Monday, just with a chambray shirt instead.  No shame.

I went to Old Navy because I had Super Cash to use, plus I saw all their clearance was an additional 30% off.  I got this shirt, 2 skirts, a dress, two tank tops, and a scarf for around $30...and 5 of the 7 things are striped...anyone else have this problem?

I'm heading to a conference this weekend in Minneapolis (WOO!!) with a student I supervise, and I'm really excited.  I presented at this conference as an undergraduate student and I'm so excited to be going back in a supervisory role.  I'll be decked out in school spirit clothes all weekend (the conference is for people involved in college orientation...) so I have nothing too exciting to share on the blog...because you don't want to see me in jeans and a hoodie, right??

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Bare Legs!

Blouse: JCPenney Cardigan: Gap Skirt: Target Flats: Payless

I'm so excited about the warm temperatures today, so I decided to wear a skirt without tights :)  This skirt is one of my new purchases from March.  It has fine navy and cream colored stripes.  I wanted to keep it simple today, so I paired it with a white button up blouse (with a really pretty floral embellishment on the collar) and a navy cardigan.  I'm excited to wear this skirt all spring and summer, and match it with lots of bright colors.

I've been doing a lot of writing lately, as I'm in the beginning phases of writing my thesis for my Master's program.  I've been behind on commenting on blogs, responding to emails, and planning my posts.  My apologies for being a little quiet lately!  I'm hoping that in the next few weeks, I'll be able to make some good progress on my writing and have a little more time to connect with all my readers and favorite bloggers - bear with me :)

Five Days, Five Ways: Olive & Pink Floral Dress

It's Day Four of the Five Days, Five Ways challenge hosted by Whitney and Fran.  Today's item to remix is a dress!

I chose this colorful floral Target dress that I thrifted (new) from Goodwill.  It's one of my most worn dresses.  I usually just wear it with a cardigan (which I'm demonstrating here), but this challenge pushed me to try some new ways to wear it, too!

Denim jacket: Levi's Boots: Guess Necklace: From Mom

I just got my first denim jacket since I was little, and I knew it would get a lot of wear with my dresses. I kind of feel like a cowgirl in this outfit, but not in a costumey way.  I'd wear this dress to work or out on the weekends.  It would also look cute with some flats.

Cardigan: Target Tights: Target Boots: Target Necklace: From Mom

I first wore this outfit here, in the beginning of March.  It is a wintery way to wear this dress!  One of the reasons I like this dress so much is because it looks great with or without tights/leggings, and the colors are appropriate for year-round wear.

Vest: Old Navy Belt: Thrifted Sandals: Target

I thought I would try pairing my vest with this dress.  While I'm usually not one to wear lots of sleeveless things, I love the colors together here.  I can't wait to wear this outfit in the middle of summer when it's hot outside! 

Cardigan: Eddie Bauer, thrifted Belt: Target Flats: Target, thrifted NWT 

This is normally how I wear this dress in the spring and summer.  Easy: throw on a cardigan, some flats, and a belt for a little something extra.  I've also worn my coral cardigan and a camel cardigan with this dress, as well.  It is predictable, but it works.

Tee: Old Navy Belt: From a dress Flats: Payless

This outfit is the biggest stretch for me!  I've seen bloggers do this before (wear a dress as a skirt), but I've never tried it, for fear it wouldn't look good on my body.  I actually quite like how this turned out!  The color of this shirt looks nice with the colors in the dress, and the wide elastic belt kept the bottom of the shirt tucked in.  I'll have to try this look out again with other dresses and shirts!

There you have my five outfits with this dress!  Be sure to look at all the other bloggers linking up with Fran and Whitney this week.  There are some awesome looks being shared :)

Restless Hair

Shirt: Old Navy, thrifted Cardigan: Target Trousers: TJ Maxx Flats: Payless

This pink shirt is one of my neglected pieces for Kate's No Longer Neglected challenge.  I absolutely adore this shirt, but it's been neglected since the summer since I wasn't sure if it would look okay with a cardigan (due to its boxier cut).  I'm glad I tried this out - I loved the simplicity of this outfit, and it made me feel springy, even though it was in the 20s today.  I also got to wear my new nude flats, which are SO COMFY.

I'm feeling the need to change up my hair.  I'd love to dye it, but don't want to have to keep it up.  I want to cut it (I really want a short hair cut - a little longer than Anne Hathaway's original pixie), but I'm a little self-conscious about my chubby cheeks.  I've been trying hard to change my eating habits and pushing myself at the gym more, because finally getting the short hair cut I've always wanted will be a great reward for my efforts :)  Maybe what I'll do for now is just get it cut a little shorter and ease my way into the shaggy pixie...